The choices you make come from the storyline in your head. Compound this with heartfelt beliefs and you have a potent brew for transformation or staying the same.
As expert survivors with deep drive to feel good, our decisions come by default from what has already been written. The story in your head is the feelings that verbalize to your mind in difficult or disappointing moments. But this doesn’t mean you are stuck with history recurring.
The problem for changing direction
There are times you know your ingrained values or deep motivations are at odds with the identity you currently carry. You may feel like
- you don’t ‘fit’
- you don’t feel ‘yourself’ these days
- this isn’t what you thought you signed up for
As you remain longer in this situation you start to doubt yourself, second-guess your judgement… starting to believe everything is your fault. Eventually this leads to a numbness, which is a slow dying inside. It takes deliberate and conscious effort to imprint new thinking and beliefs. But you can absolutely do it! The words you speak to yourself – quietly and unconsciously – drive all your decisions, actions, daily habits, and therefore destiny.
To make real change means to superimpose the new desired identity or habits over the old.
Don’t focus on removing bad stuff, focus on putting in the right good stuff
There is a principle that has been incredibly enlightening and transformative for me: To get rid of the dark, simply switch on the light – it’s madly simple! What this means is, learn to bring in new responses to moments that trigger unhelpful/ destructive patterns of behaviour.
Learn to flick the switch!
More easily said than done. Our pride is at stake (yes pride) – it’s not easy to admit to yourself that you are at cause for so much ensuing crap or perpetuating a negative situation.
The truth is, even when it hurts we tend to cling to our ideas and justify how we are. But no matter how reasonable your actions are – are they taking you where you want to go and becoming the person you’d love to meet?
Identifying where you are ‘at cause’ for your situation is taking the keys of liberty and inserting them into the lock that has you caged in frustration or failure.
You can write a new story for your life but it takes intention, practice and desire.
The Big Question
What would you need to have done and who would you need to have become, to be the person you’d be delighted to meet on December 31st 2015?
- Do you have dreams but lack determination?
- Do you have desire but lose motivation?
- Do you even have a picture of the person you want to be on 31st December 2015?
Change can be like a ‘Y’ intersections; a big change starts with one step in a different direction. It takes starting now.
Watch for next Blog as I continue this life-changing theme…..